To Kindergarten, or Not to Kindergarten? A Mother's Toughest Question

It's that time of year again! Amongst all the hustle and bustle, some excitement and some tears about going Back to School this Fall. The Fall season is one of my most looked forward to times of the year. The weather begins cooling off, not so hot and (hopefully) not snowing yet. The leaves start to change, the highly anticipated Pumpkin Spice Latte returns to Starbucks, and all the outdoor crafts, activities and trips to the local farms. It doesn't get much more relaxing than this. But, I have to say, this has been one of the most stressful times of the year for me so far in 2013.

My son Aiden, who is now 5 years old as of a week ago will be returning to school again for his 2nd year. Let me take it back a year when we were new residents of Pittsburgh in 2012, just before he started his first year of Preschool. I couldn't hide the tears with the realization of how fast my only child was growing up. Seeing the excitement on his face, I also couldn't help but be excited for him as well. This was one of those bittersweet "proud mommy moments".

                              

 Weeks went by and he still had the same excitement for school. I have to admit, I was slightly envious that his teacher had the opportunity to enjoy his presence and was teaching him much of what I thought I should be teaching him. Shortly after those first few weeks, his teacher pulled me aside and told me he was having some problems with another student in the class and was imitating some of this student's inappropriate behaviors. (name calling, language, hitting) I let it go the first time saying in my head, "this is something all kids do." Right? He's adjusting to the social aspect of school and it'll eventually pass. I couldn't help my frustration with this other student who had my son repeating some of these behaviors. Aiden, myself, and my husband had several discussions about this issue and while Aiden seemed to completely understand what he was doing wrong and what he could've done differently, he continued to butt heads with the other student and ONLY with this student. I met with his teacher, tried to figure out exactly what was going on so that we could get to the bottom of this and try to correct it.

We tried a few things, including separating the two, and creating a chart for all of Aiden's good behavior, and rewarding that behavior. Eventually, most of these issues had subsided but I was also realizing that not only was the other kid the problem, but my kid was a bit of a disturbance. I volunteered to help out during classroom activities when all I could hear from the opposite end of the room was my kid being a goof ball and putting on a bit of a clown act to make the other kids laugh. This seems fun and cute and all, but unfortunately this was during an activity. I wasn't surprised that my kid was the class clown. He was always putting on shows at home and my husband and I were the bad parents who laughed at his nonsense joking that he'd be a great actor/comedian one day. Oops! His teacher assured me that this was VERY common in boys and that he highly enjoys socializing in school but struggles with differentiating between play time and learning time, part of which could be blamed on his age. (Being one of the much younger ones in the class with a late August birthday.)

Despite some of the conflicts with this other student, and the goofiness, I have to say Aiden did very well in school. He's always been a quick learner and pretty advanced for his age. He learned his whole alphabet in sign language, learned to write both uppercase and lower case letters, he was socializing, he was creating, he was being a kid! So why was I so worried? Why was the next year going to be so hard?

                              

This summer we stayed as busy as possible, staying outdoors, getting together for play dates, and even continuing to work in his workbook and reading. He did turn 5 last week as many of the schools were already returning to school, he did mature some, he did A LOT of learning, and at the end of this Summer he is already reading and sounding out words, as well as doing some basic math. So after last year, and considering what he learned this Summer, how do I know if he's ready for Kindergarten or if he'll be challenged enough in pre-K? 

                    

After alot of discussion with my husband, and several arguments we decided that we'd have him repeat a year of pre-K before starting him in Kindrgarten next year, and here's why; I've read the articles, heard the often unwelcomed opinions of other moms, and taken in the advice from teachers, etc. I'm not worried about him being unable to learn, but I do often think of how his actions and "immature" thought process may affect him in the long run. With him being at the very bottom of the age group, I worry about the possible pressure he may face in those dreaded high school years. I worry that he'll imitate the behaviors of older students to fit in. I worry about him fitting in as a follower because he's significanly younger rather than leading. Let's face it, saying I'm a bit of a worrier, is an understatement. Age 4 has been a difficult age for me to deal with disciplining and I want him to gain more control of the independence he so craves, in an appropriate way. I want him to understand more about how his decisions create consequences, which is something he failed to understand a year ago. He KNEW what was right, but acted before thinking and realizing the possible consequences. 

I do worry that he won't be as challenged in Pre-K, but that's where I come in. That's one of the luxuries of being a stay-at-home mom;) I will continue to take part in his after school learning to challenge him with games, books, and other activities as well. I do often go back in my head to wonder if I'm making the right decision. As a mother, all I want is what's best for my son in the long run. It's difficult enough making decisions that affect your life, but making decisions for your children is a whole other challenge! 

I'd love to hear your feedback! Please comment if you have any similar experiences to share. 

The Hard Life of a 4 Year Old...

You don't hear much about the "How To's" of raising a preschooler before having kids (at least I didn't.) There are the ever so popular books What to Expect When You're Expecting and the "Toddler Years" books. But, what about school age kids? One thing I always say is "little kids = little problems, big kids = bigger problems" and I completely believe this to be true. Of course, no one misses the sleepless nights associated with the infant years, or the tantrums that go along with the toddler years but I'm up to the pre-school age and I have noticed a trend, and raising them actually becomes tougher.

I like to call what my son is going through, the "Ferocious 4's" because I'm highly hopeful that it's just a phase much similar to the "Terrible 2's" that he skipped. Like many kids, he enjoys whining in refusal to the things I ask him to do, and of course back-talk was introduced during the school year as well. My son is not only very smart, but he's also highly skilled in dramatizations. I just don't understand how the life of a 4 year old can be so hard. I've also tried many different ways of offering rewards and it only seems to work temporarily. I've recently re-designed our RESPONSIBILITY CHART to hopefully offer some incentive to complete tasks. Threatening and yelling is a method I MUST put behind me. I've learned that the yelling really does NOT work, he guards himself in defense and my firm and directness doesn't get through to him while yelling. I send him to bed out of anger and frustration while he's crying, and neither of us end our day well. Then I'm only left with the guilt and saddness from yelling and still nothing was accomplished. Instead, I'm trying a few new methods listed below, that will hopefully work to get him to complete his few responsibilities, listening, and improving our overall mother and son relationship. 

                       

1.) PICK YOUR BATTLES

This is one of those things that is often questionable to some parents. As the queens of the castle we often want to rule EVERYTHING, make it known who's "in charge", and make all the decisions ourselves. Remember when they were babies and you made all the decisions about their daily lives and what they wear? Well, by this time they've grown accustomed to their independence and are developing their own personalities. Some of these non-worthy battles include things like eating all their food, wearing rain boots with their shorts, wearing a batman mask to dinner, bringing his favorite toy in the car, etc. Figuring out that these things just aren't worth the battle will only make your life easier, and less stressful at the end of the day.
 

2.) BE CALM! 

We all lose our tempers and get frustrated but during these battles it's important to remain calm! Children know how to push our buttons, and once they've figured out how, they will keep doing it... often times regardless of the consequences unfortunately. So it's important to keep our "Poker Face" on, take deep breaths when you start to reach a level of frustration, and speak only showing directness and without any emotion. It even helps to walk out of the room, take a few deep breaths, gather your thoughts and return back with your instructions. 

3.) "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" 

If you have school-age children and older, how many times have you said this? Too many right? This simply does NOT work. Why? Because it's not an answer at all! Children are learning on a daily basis whether at home or at school and they question EVERYTHING! This simply isn't a reasonable answer for them. When giving them your firm instructions, explain to them the consequences if they refuse to obey. More than likely, they will understand that you mean business and will obey. They need to understand "cause and effect" and over time will eventually learn that the choices they make have consequences. Kids are smarter than we think, and even smarter than we often times want them to be. Give them the benefit of the doubt, don't belittle them, and TALK to them
by explaining your reasons for disciplining them and why their actions resulted in those consequences. Another thing to remember is, don't leave the talking only for when they are in trouble, talk to your kids, and talk to them often.

4.)  DESCISIONS, DESCISIONS...
Give your kids options. Yes, that is what I said... As I mentioned above, make them aware of the consequences. Unless it's something that requires immediate attention, or for safety reasons, let them decide what they're going to do and be fully prepared to follow through with the consequences. The more we push and force our kids into doing something, the more they are going to refuse. This is just the general nature of ALL kids. So if you continue to push to pick up their toys, most likely they aren't going to. Giving them options is not a bargaining method, it is a way for them to learn to make decisions but also be ready to face the consequences for the poor choices they make. This also helps them understand and respect you as a parent and as an authority. Of course, there are some things that require immediate action and hopefully your direct, firm voice expresses that. Counting always seems to work for me too. As soon as I start 1..2... my son can usually tell I mean business. 

5.) PRAISE AND REWARD
So I mentioned earlier that I revamped our responsibility chart, and while it still is a work in progress I have faith that it will help. My son is at that age where he likes to make his own decisions, and cares about the little treats such as going to get frozen yogurt, or picking out a pack of temporary tattoos at the store. Our chart consists of a list of the few things I'd like for him to complete every day. (keep this list small, you don't want to pile on the list of chores just yet) When he completes a task 7 days in a row, then he shall receive a small treat depending on the task itself. If he picked up his toys everyday without whining then that receives a smaller treat vs him putting in some extra effort to work in his pre-school workbook and practicing his reading without refusing. Trial and error is the key for this to work, find the rewards that work best for you and stick to small treats, and an occasional larger treat for extended periods of good behavior. Another thing I like to avoid as treats are toys, there's nothing wrong with toys but they don't "NEED" toys all the time, even with good behavior. Consider a new book to read, coloring book, or other art supplies. And don't forget to praise them when they are doing a good job! :)

These are some of the methods that I am going to focus more on when disciplining my son. Even in the short period of time, things are starting to work well. I hope you find these tips helpful and they work for you. Whatever methods you decide to do, don't get discouraged if they don't work right away, just try to stay consistent. I will update you on how this is working in the near future. I'd love to hear your feedback! Feel free to comment with some of the methods that you have tried.

 

 

-Yvonne

Banana Protein Muffins

So here's another one of my completely made up recipes. My son has been a big pancake eater recently and I've tried to think of all the fun and interesting ways to make them more "FUN." I'm also going through big changes in my diet and wanted to focus more on eating healthier. Great idea for those over-ripe bananas that no will eat. So instead of pancakes, I decided to make semi-healthy muffins that are loaded with fiber and protein! :)

These are the ingredients you'll need for this recipe;

       • 1 1/2c. Pancake Mix (just add water kind)

       • 2 ripe bananas (the softer, the better) 

       • Apple Butter 

       • 1c. Water 

       • Whey Protein vanilla flavor 

 

Combine the pancake mix and 1 heaping scoop of protein powder to a medium sized bowl. Add 1/2 cup of Apple Butter and the bananas to the bowl (I like to soften the bananas in the peel before adding by lightly squishing them.) Lastly, add the water, and mix with a fork. Mixture may be slightly lumpy and should be slightly thick, but neither watery or overly thick. 

Use a non-stick spray and lightly coat the inside of a muffin tin. Pour mixture into the tin using an ice cream scoop. Bake for about 15 minutes (or until golden brown) at 350°

Let sit for a few minutes then remove from tin and place on a plate to continue cooling. I had some extra batter to make another half dozen so that's what I did next. I had one, my husband and son also had one each and loved them! I froze the rest and will pull them out during the week for a quick on-the-go breakfast muffin:) 

The apple butter makes these so yummy and moist! Although I loved these, next time I think I will add walnuts for added health benefits. All you have to do now is ENJOY! 

-Yvonne 

Get Healthy, Stay Healthy!

Recently I've added another activity and challenge to my plate. This one involves a long time passion of mine which is fitness! As a teenager (which is hard to believe was over 8 years ago!) I was always very lean, very active, and very fit. I LOVE sports of all kinds and played a few throughout my years of school.

Well, like what many women go through, especially after having children, I gained quite a bit of weight. With breast feeding and exercise I was able to lose most of it, but eventually gained ALL of my pregnancy weight back. I never thought myself a poor eater, but something had to be contributing to my weight-gain, I just couldn't figure out exactly what?!

Over the next few years, I balanced being a practically single, stay-at-home mom, and Navy wife living in Seattle which is over 1000 miles away from my family. 

Was I depressed?

Was I dealing with too much stress? 

Was I eating too much? 

The answer to these are all YES, unfortunately. I just didn't realize it at the time. 

-I was mildy depressed from being away from family, having a regularly deployed husband, and was ridiculously self-conscious about my appearance and the weight I had not been able to lose.

-All of these things, in addition to having a newborn stressed me out constantly. 

-And as many of us know, STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards and that explains my poor eating habits. Not to mention I was very particular about my son's healthy eating habits that I basically neglected my own. 

My weight had rollercoastered UP and DOWN, and at one point through diet and exercise, I lost ALL of the baby fat. Again, failing to maintain these habits eventually caused me to gain it all back which is where I'm at now. 

Another thing you should know is that I was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease- a form of Hypothyroidism caused when the immune system attacks the thyroid (for whatever reason) therefore resulting in symptoms of extreme tiredness, lack of energy, weight-gain, and depression just to name a few. The thyroid's mayor fuctions include regulating your metabolism and increasing utilization of cholesterol, fats, protein, and carbohydrates. This, in addition to what I mentioned above had been contributing to all of my symptoms. After nearly 5 years of dealing with these, it was hard to take in a "diagnosed disease" but relieved to have found an answer and a solution!

                                                      Anatomy of the thyroid and it's function.
                                                   http://women.webmd.com/picture-of-the-thyroid
 

So, now that you're aware of my health history I can explain my new goals and plans. Like I said, I've always been passionate about health and fitness, but throughout the last 5 years I've lacked the drive and motivation to take care of myself and be healthy. Being on my new thyroid hormone regulating meds, I have noticed a big change in my energy levels. I have much more motivation to get where I want to be! 

I have tried to organize several fitness groups/meet-ups throughout the Pittsburgh area to get other women, MOMS to be motivated and healthy! I haven't had much success yet but hope that within the next few months I can spread the word and develop more interest. Many women want to work out, want to eat healthy, look AND feel good, but just don't know how and where to start. I just hope that I can inspire and encourage others to gain a bigger interest in their health. 

I've learned that being healthy is NOT about a specific number on the scale, but about your internal health as well, diet affects your organs, not just your appearance! I was surprised not to find any "Mom Fitness" classes and organizations in the area when we moved out here. With more research, more education, and more awareness I hope to change that in the near future. Not only for myself, but for all the moms out there who are struggling with similar issues. :)

2010

 

 

down 20lbs in 2011

 

now (2013) up 15lbs

 

                                            "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you"


 

Family Hike at Frick

We recently had a few days of ugly, rainy, stormy weather here in the Burgh. So I was thrilled to finally have a warm weekend to spend outside. The boys and I decided to take a little hike at one of my favorite Pittsburgh parks, and one of the largest parks in the area Frick Park.

We took our one year old Puggle, grabbed the camel pack, piled on the sunscreen and headed out the door. When we got to the park, we filled up a jug of water for Steele (our dog) and started on the Lower Riverview trail, (which I've hiked before alone) and just kept walking. 

We walked through wooded areas and lots of uneven territory. We eventually came up to another trail, that I'd not hiked before... and of course, my husband was feeling adventurous so we kept on. 

 

After what felt like several miles of walking, we realized we didn't exactly know how to get back to our starting point. I LOVE hiking, and being outdoors, but the frustration definitely kicks in a little quicker when you're hiking with a kid, a dog, and a thrill-seeking, know-it-all husband who navigates us through the most wooded of paths.

We saw a snake during this hike, and more large spiders than I have ever seen in my life. No way was this similar to our most memorable hikes in Hawaii when we were rewarded with GORGEOUS picturesque views, and waterfalls, I couldn't help but keep thinking.

Any who, after 2 hours of walking, changing course, and backtracking we finally made our way out. And I swear we had to have walked nearly 5 miles. I let go of my frustration and most definitely had to give props to our son Aiden who hiked all on his own, with minimal complaining. And what was even more surprising, after the hike he STILL had enough energy to check out the playground and test out the popular big "Blue Slide." 

 

A few things I learned from this hike;

1. do NOT wear Nike Frees on a hike! I felt every single rock with each step and I now have blisters on my feet and toes. :(

2. Wear some sort of bug repellant. I normally try to avoid things with chemicals and harsh ingredients so I found an interesting DIY recipe from the Curious About Health-blog to make your own, or you can use one of those clip on ones.

3. No matter how much you PLAN, PREPARE, and PREVENT, things will rarely EVER go according to plan. What is important is how you handle and learn from each situation despite the small obstacles and frustrations!

 

I have to say, overall we had a great day and another great adventure to add to our list of memories! Until our next hike :)

Couldn't fit Steele in this pic... and this was before the mild complaints and frustration. ;) 

Checking out the Big Blue Slide after the hike

Catching up... Summer Time!

I've been away for far too long. This is a much needed personal update and blog post. Ahh, it's finally Summer now and we are definitely trying to enjoy the warmer temperatures. After going through our first Pittsburgh winter I have to admit, I've never craved sun more than now!

I've been keeping pretty busy with my tutu business Maddie Bear's Tutus. I have my Facebook page up and running along with the Etsy shop. Things aren't perfect yet, but I've had a great response and customers have responded in a such a positive manner, that it only encourages me to continue.

With my son Aiden out of pre-school on summer vacation, I've also been keeping him busy just as he's kept me on my toes. We've been doing many of the parks around Pittsburgh, going swimming, baseball games, children's museum, zoo, festivals, etc. He also recently attended Vacation Bible School at the church/school we attend. Not to mention all the sports he plays, SHEESH! He's busier than me and has a bigger social circle than I do.

One of our most recent outings was when he headed down to Point State Park for the Three Rivers Regatta on the 4th of July. It's was such a perfect day, sun was out, the rain (surprisingly) stayed away, and we got to see an amazing fireworks show! This was our 2nd Independence Day in Pittsburgh and we've had a blast each time!

Among the fireworks were BMX shows, (which the kid loved) boat races, dog shows, many yummy food vendors, and the fountain that seemed to be the [2nd] main attraction. Our last minute decision to head downtown seemed like a good one because, our part of town on the East end stormed pretty badly! :( Here's to quick thinking!  

The Summer is quickly passing and we will continue to enjoy it in the weeks to come. Until next time, stop wasting time and head outside! 

The longest fireworks show ever (at least that we've seen) :) 

Aiden and Daddy having a snack. 

Watching the boat races from the bridge. 

The 3 of us. 

-Yvonne Copeland 

Maddie Bear's Tutus FREE tutu contest!

FREE TUTU CONTEST!
This contest is for a FREE custom made tutu skirt from Maddie Bear's Tutus. (excludes dresses, premium glitter and animal print tulle) Winner IS responsible for shipping cost of $2.50. Must claim and pay via PayPal within 48hrs of announcement.

To get your entry all you have to do is:
1.) "SHARE" this status on your wall to your friends. (I will be checking shares;) )
2.) Come back to this Facebook post and leave a comment letting me know that you've shared. You will have a number corresponding with the order of your comment. (ex. 1st comment is number 1, 5th comment is number 5 and so on)
3.) You must "LIKE" my page to enter.
4.) Tell your friends to join!

Contest will END this Sunday at 11pm EST! Winners will be picked randomly via random.org and will be announced according to your number. You will have 48 hours to respond or your winnings will be forfeited. Thank you all and GOOD LUCK!



hosted by Yvonne Copeland, creator of Maddie Bear's Tutus.