My son Aiden, who is now 5 years old as of a week ago will be returning to school again for his 2nd year. Let me take it back a year when we were new residents of Pittsburgh in 2012, just before he started his first year of Preschool. I couldn't hide the tears with the realization of how fast my only child was growing up. Seeing the excitement on his face, I also couldn't help but be excited for him as well. This was one of those bittersweet "proud mommy moments".
Weeks went by and he still had the same excitement for school. I have to admit, I was slightly envious that his teacher had the opportunity to enjoy his presence and was teaching him much of what I thought I should be teaching him. Shortly after those first few weeks, his teacher pulled me aside and told me he was having some problems with another student in the class and was imitating some of this student's inappropriate behaviors. (name calling, language, hitting) I let it go the first time saying in my head, "this is something all kids do." Right? He's adjusting to the social aspect of school and it'll eventually pass. I couldn't help my frustration with this other student who had my son repeating some of these behaviors. Aiden, myself, and my husband had several discussions about this issue and while Aiden seemed to completely understand what he was doing wrong and what he could've done differently, he continued to butt heads with the other student and ONLY with this student. I met with his teacher, tried to figure out exactly what was going on so that we could get to the bottom of this and try to correct it.
We tried a few things, including separating the two, and creating a chart for all of Aiden's good behavior, and rewarding that behavior. Eventually, most of these issues had subsided but I was also realizing that not only was the other kid the problem, but my kid was a bit of a disturbance. I volunteered to help out during classroom activities when all I could hear from the opposite end of the room was my kid being a goof ball and putting on a bit of a clown act to make the other kids laugh. This seems fun and cute and all, but unfortunately this was during an activity. I wasn't surprised that my kid was the class clown. He was always putting on shows at home and my husband and I were the bad parents who laughed at his nonsense joking that he'd be a great actor/comedian one day. Oops! His teacher assured me that this was VERY common in boys and that he highly enjoys socializing in school but struggles with differentiating between play time and learning time, part of which could be blamed on his age. (Being one of the much younger ones in the class with a late August birthday.)
Despite some of the conflicts with this other student, and the goofiness, I have to say Aiden did very well in school. He's always been a quick learner and pretty advanced for his age. He learned his whole alphabet in sign language, learned to write both uppercase and lower case letters, he was socializing, he was creating, he was being a kid! So why was I so worried? Why was the next year going to be so hard?
This summer we stayed as busy as possible, staying outdoors, getting together for play dates, and even continuing to work in his workbook and reading. He did turn 5 last week as many of the schools were already returning to school, he did mature some, he did A LOT of learning, and at the end of this Summer he is already reading and sounding out words, as well as doing some basic math. So after last year, and considering what he learned this Summer, how do I know if he's ready for Kindergarten or if he'll be challenged enough in pre-K?
After alot of discussion with my husband, and several arguments we decided that we'd have him repeat a year of pre-K before starting him in Kindrgarten next year, and here's why; I've read the articles, heard the often unwelcomed opinions of other moms, and taken in the advice from teachers, etc. I'm not worried about him being unable to learn, but I do often think of how his actions and "immature" thought process may affect him in the long run. With him being at the very bottom of the age group, I worry about the possible pressure he may face in those dreaded high school years. I worry that he'll imitate the behaviors of older students to fit in. I worry about him fitting in as a follower because he's significanly younger rather than leading. Let's face it, saying I'm a bit of a worrier, is an understatement. Age 4 has been a difficult age for me to deal with disciplining and I want him to gain more control of the independence he so craves, in an appropriate way. I want him to understand more about how his decisions create consequences, which is something he failed to understand a year ago. He KNEW what was right, but acted before thinking and realizing the possible consequences.
I do worry that he won't be as challenged in Pre-K, but that's where I come in. That's one of the luxuries of being a stay-at-home mom;) I will continue to take part in his after school learning to challenge him with games, books, and other activities as well. I do often go back in my head to wonder if I'm making the right decision. As a mother, all I want is what's best for my son in the long run. It's difficult enough making decisions that affect your life, but making decisions for your children is a whole other challenge!
I'd love to hear your feedback! Please comment if you have any similar experiences to share.
